Part 3: Indecision
We stayed up drinking, talking and joking for hours and Dale and Eileen
kept going back to the subject of the vision that was Scott, the copier
repair guy. Finally I glanced at my watch and realized it was almost 2
am and I was in no fit state to drive home. This is not the first time
I've stayed at Dale's, I told you I spent a lot of time unburdening
myself and shriving my soul with them, right? So anyway, when I stayed
the first time I borrowed a shirt from Dale the next day and Eileen
washed mine. That sort of turned into a rolling program and now I have
several complete changes of clothing there and even my own toothbrush!
"S'okay if I stay here tonight, guys?" I managed to ask.
"Sure it is, but on one condition..."
"Jeez, Eileen, give me a break, I'll call him. Now, good night!" And
with that I left the room, crawled to the guest bedroom and passed out
for six (count 'em) undisturbed hours of near coma.
I woke the next morning with my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth and
the kids yelling outside my room. Sorry, Dale's guest room. Oops. I
felt pretty rough, but I had been much more hungover than this in the
past. Nothing a shower, shave and a gallon of coffee wouldn't sort
out. By the time I made it downstairs Dale had already left, no doubt
all bright and breezy (he has a tolerance for alcohol that borders on
uncanny). Eileen was just finishing up packing the kids lunches in the
kitchen.
"Good morning, sunshine!"
"Funny, Eileen. Gimme coffee, woman." She obliged with good grace,
considering how rude I was, but that's the kind of relationship we've
always had. What can I say?
"You know you should eat something. You have a big day ahead of you,
and there's nothing like a good breakfast to prepare you for it. And a
cigarette does not count as breakfast, Mike. You should take better
care of yourself."
"I take great care of myself, and anyway I quit, you know that. And
I've been going to the gym a lot more recently."
"Which counts for nothing if you don't eat properly. Living in that
apartment by yourself, I know you just microwave old takeout."
"Eileen, you sound like my mother!"
"Well if you will behave like a six year old!"
"Touché. So make me some toast or something and I'll eat it, but it'll
have to be quick or I'll be late and Corporate America would collapse
without me. I may only be a cog, but I'm a vital one." Eileen
snorted, but to her great credit quickly rustled up some scrambled eggs
and toast and despite my hangover I wolfed it down.
"So you're still going to call him, or was that the booze talking last
night? You know, if you really don't think it's a good idea, Mike, you
shouldn't do it. I know Dale and I both want to see you happy, but if
its not time, if its not right, well, I know you'll do the right
thing." She patted my hand somewhat absently and then went back to
fussing over the girls. I didn't reply, there was nothing to say.
When I finally made it to work I was feeling vaguely human, but I was
late, by almost fifteen minutes. It was going to be a long day,
meetings and more meetings, one of which I had to give a presentation
at - what joy! So the day dragged by and the whole time my mind was on
whether or not to phone Scott (having strategically vandalized the
company's copier, of course) and if so, what I should say to him. Some
of my co-workers noticed that I wasn't my usual ebullient self and even
asked if I was feeling okay. Like they cared. I even worked right
through lunch but I was so obviously not going to finish everything I
had to do, it was just one of those days.
Around four I found myself standing in front of the copier, for the
umpteenth time that day, holding a pile of cash flow statements and
contemplating my fate. I must have stood there staring at the thing
forever because I was jerked from my reverie by a hand on my shoulder.
"Broken again?" I spun round, startled, half my brain thinking it must
be Scott the other half telling me just how dumb that was. That part
was right. It was Clive, one of my deeply annoying 'colleagues'. I'm
sure he was in his mid twenties, but he looked like he was just out of
high school and already he was at my grade and earning the same salary
as me, a real fast-tracker, and not afraid to let you know it.
"No. Sorry, I was miles away." Dumb, dumb, dumb. Should've said yes
and he might have gone away. "Hey, you've only got one, why don't you
go first?"
"Thanks, buddy. Very neighborly of you." He slapped my back as he
stepped round me to the copier, "Course I am making a few hundred
copies of this!" I must have looked pissed because he through his
hands up and said, "hey kidding! Don't kill me, sport." Why are there
some people who just cannot use my given name? Grrr.
"Knock yourself out, Clive, let me know when you're done, yeah?"
"Sure thing."
I ambled back to my cubicle to wait, pulling Scott's card from my pocket
as I sat down and turning it over and over in my hand. Fuck it, I
thought, time to call. I picked up the phone and dialed his cell
number before my rational mind could kick in and stop me. It rang.
And kept ringing. Oh God, what am doing? This is such a stupid idea.
"Hello?"
"Um, Scott?"
"Yup."
"Hi, this is Mike Robins, at DML, you fixed our copier on yesterday?"
"Oh yeah, the duplexing unit, huh?" He snorted, "Let me guess, some
muppet jammed it again?" This was going to be easier than I thought.
"I'm afraid so, I wouldn't call at," I checked my watch, "half past
four, but I have a really important presentation tomorrow..." I
trailed off.
"No problem, Mike, I'm on a job right now, but I should be done pretty
soon, it'll take me a while to get over there can you hang about after
five?"
"Um, yes, sure, I could do that." Could Dale and Eileen be right? Or
was he just a really nice, helpful sort of guy? Oh, please, let Dale
be right! Normally I would never ask for that, but this once, I think
I could live with him I told you so-ing.
"Great, well, I'll see you about half past five then, 'kay?"
"I'll be waiting."
"If its real urgent, you could call the office and they might be able to
send somebody round sooner." Here was a way out if I wanted it. It
was now or never, I could either go forward with this lunacy or
withdraw gracefully while my dignity and self-respect were still more
than 50% intact.
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